Just another manic monday

Now I am supposed to write something about going crazy, losing my S*#@ and fallin off the deep end....because of some song and some memory and some thought and some....monday.

J.A.M.M.....

Putting on an appearance. Combed hair, shoelaces tight.

Outfit ready...Time to shine. Time to be somebody. Time to say,  "Yeah World here I come."

Forget breakfast, forget the goldilocks and the three bears, no porridge for this guy.

On, up, out, now...NOW.  

But, of the fear...I mean the kind that pushes the alarm off when it MUST be left ON.

The self sabotaging, gutless, self centered, DAMN SON A BITCH. 

The kind that snaps, NO! that forgets love and heart and intimacy and....going slow. 

I got that side galore....some days.

Some days not....LIKE today, ooh the red engine that could is primed.

The door is opening...SKIES are blue.

No plans, only goals, no certainty, nor uncertainty.

Only DREAMS and WONDER and ADVENTURE and...   mystery.

See I am lost. Two worlds, one reality. Paradox then, now and later.

Yet I am ready, I AM READY, I AM.....scared. No this does not work this way.

Not yes, not no, not anything.   What to do, where to go...hide, open, stand still..what to DO.?

Choice, choice   CHOICE.

The day is brave.